THE MALAY COMMUNITY

There are several views on the etymology of the word “Melayu” or Malay. Some say it originates from the root word “Malaju” (laju) which means fast and swift. It can thus be interpreted that the Malays are fast, swift and energetic in their movements.

A.H Keane, an anthropologist, had thought that the Malay ethnicity originates from the Caucausians and the Mongolians. This view is based on the theory to say that the Malays came from the north of South East Asia. Seen from the wider social and cultural aspects therefore, “Malay” ethnic group covers those in the Peninsular Malaysia and the Malay Archipelagoes. This means that the Malays diaspora cover a large part of the world.

Visiting Custom
Below are a few guidelines on Malay customs when visiting:
•    Muslim visitors will greet the occupants of the house by address politely, “Assalamualaikum”.
•    Visitors must take off their shoes before entering a Malay person’s house.
•    If at that time another guest is present, the visitor must introduce himself and bow slightly as a gesture of respect when shaking his hands.
•     When walking in front of a group of people the visitor must bow his head slightly and hold out one hand. The appropriate words to say would be “Excuse me, I am passing.”
•    It is the custom for Malay homes, traditionally, to sit “bersila” that is, for a man, to cross his legs while the ladies will tuck their feet under them to one side. It is considered impolite when stting on a chair, to cross your legs showing the soles of the feet, to straighten your legs, or to sit with legs wide apart.
•    When the host serves food, it is not polite to refuse. You must taste some even if too full.
•    Young girls should serve rice onto the plates of the elders. Serving should not be too much or too little but appropriate. The elders must take the food first before the younger as it is rude for the elders to eat the food left over by those younger than them. Some would make the younger people eat separately from those older than them or allow the elders to eat first. However, this practice is not suitable for fostering harmony and strengthening family bond.
•    It is best to take the nearest dish and not reach for a dish that is far. To get a dish that is far from you, help should be asked from others.
•    When giving out or receiving dish, the elbow or wrist should be held lightly with the other hand. When serving gravy or rice, use the left hand so that the right hand (used to eat) would not soil the spoon. Loud sounds made when serving are considered impolite. Do not talk while eating and especially not with your mouth full.
•    When speaking, please ensure that you do not speak of unpleasant matters which can disrupt one’s appetite or cause friction.
•    Do not make sounds while eating such as slurping, chewing loudly, snorting or spitting.
•    Do not eat to the point of burping; eat in moderate amount or to stave off hunger.
•    If you finish first, never leave the table and take your plate away, it is best to wait and ensure that everyone finishes before you get up.
•    You must ensure that everyone has finished eating before clearing the eating area. It is not polite to start cleaning when people are still eating, and can appear as if you wish for the person to stop eating or stop him from enjoying the other dishes.
•    Do not visit during mealtimes or during sunset. This disturbs the hosts as there may only be enough portions for his own family. The Maghrib (Sunset) prayer is also the shortest praying time and your visit may cause the host to feel uncomfortable as he needs to leave you to pray. It is therefore better for you to visit after Isya’ prayers (after 8.00 pm), and better still if a gift is brought such as fruits, as a sign of courtesy.
•    Guests who smoke are not to discard their ashes in plates or any other dishes even if the dishes contained waste food.
•    To call the hosts, greet or give “salam” and shake hands. It is extremely rude to call “Oi…”. If alone, do not enter or better yet, leave, if the man of the house is absent or the lady of the house is alone.
•    If the elders are sitting on the floor, younger folks cannot sit on the chair and must sit together on the floor.
•    Heads must be bowed. No matter how close you are, never hit, smack, point at someone’s head as this is considered very rude.
•    When yawning, cover your mouth with the back of your hand. The young are forbidden to interrupt the conversation of the elders unless asked or invited to do so. It is best for the younger people to offer their hands first to the elders. Bow your body slightly and kiss the back of the elder’s hand.
•    Do not use your index finger to point. Four fingers must be closed and use your thumb to point. Use the right hand.
•    For men, do not sit until one can see the sole of your feet, especially in front of the elders.
•    Use a tray when serving food and drinks. Do not bring cups/plates on their own. Hold it to the guest until taken.
•    Ladies are not allowed to laugh loudly and attract others’ attention. It is better to control one’s self no matter how funny something is.
•    Do not whistle especially in the house as this is rude and not respectful to others.
•    Speak in a moderately low tone when talking especially the younger generation. Do not raise your voice as if you are yelling.
•    If you wish to speak to someone far from you, approach him and do not scream from one point to another.
•    A wife should preferably wake and sleep earlier than the husband. It is polite to sleep facing the husband instead of with your back to him.

Birth

When a lady is pregnant, she goes through many procedures and restrictions. Generally, these ceremonies are held to pray for the health of her baby and her, safe from harm or the disturbance of spirits.

In the Malay community, it is generally thought that a happy expectant mom will give birth to a happy baby who will be free from harm (God willing). An expectant mom therefore should not listen, see or talk about unpleasant matters. The customs observed to welcome a child are:

•    Engaging a  midwife
•    “menjamah perut” (literally, rubbing the stomach)
•    Melenggang perut ( literally, swinging of the stomach)
•    Mandi melenggang perut (literally, bathing during swinging of the stomach)
•    Mengadap semangat (literally, “facing the spirit”)

Engaging the Midwife

Once the pregnancy reaches the seventh month, the expectant mother’s mother in law will prepare with the equipment to “melenggang” (swinging) and to engage a midwife. The best time to do this is on a Thursday night. The expectant mother will beautify the house, such as to hang curtains, decorative items (such as “langit-langit”), lay out beautiful carpets and also shall invite family over.

This ceremony is normally done between the 21st to the 29th day of the Muslim month. The best time to do it would be on Wednesday or Thursday. It is not suitable to engage a midwife on a Tuesday, especially if on that day a death has occurred in the family.

The appointing of a midwife ceremony is usually done for first-time mothers only. The purpose of the ceremony is to appoint a responsible midwife to welcome the birth of the baby. The traditional engagement of a midwife ceremony is done to formalise the appointment of a certain midwife in attending to the birth.

If the appointment is not done, it is feared that the other midwives in that area would not be able to assist, caused by either their own unwillingness to reserve early or because of other appointments.

If the engagement is not done earlier or if the situation exists where the engaged midwife is unable to appear at the birth and is replaced by another, this is what is called “bidan tarik” (substitute midwife), something that is to be avoided at all costs as it is considered to be rude and discourteous.

If a midwife refuses to attend to the delivery, from the tradition’s point of view, she cannot be blamed. There has been cases where the midwife refuses to attend a delivery because she has not received betel leaves (daun sirih), as in her view, this will cause her knowledge will fade. If this happens, another midwife has to be called in, one that is more sympathetic and not too bound by tradition. Such a midwife would be more expensive than usual.

The tradition of engagement of midwife is also known as “handover of betel leaves”. Sometimes, this ceremony is perfomed with two or three midwives due to the fear of the first appointed midwife not being able to attend to the delivery when due, because of other work commitments.

The tradition of appointing a midwife is carried out by the pregnant woman’s mother in law, by carrying with her the betel leaves holder or “cerana”. Among the items with the betel leaves are about 20 pieces of leaves, 3 bunches of lime (kapur)  wrapped in betel leaves, peeled and thinly sliced betel nuts, three pieces of gambier, tobacco, and fifty sen coins to the value of one dollar as sweetener.

In the olden days, the ceremony of appointing a midwife is done on a specially selected night. Many villagers would be invited including religious officers from the local mosques to the home of the parents-to-be. The guests are first invited to taste the betel leaves, before eating dinner.

After eating and tasting the betel leaves the preparations are then brought out. “Kemenyan” (incense), an aromatic stone (fragrant smoke), is then burned, to chase away evil spirits. Four containers of bathing water tied with a white cloth and covered by coconut leaves, cloudy and with various beautiful flowers sprinkled over them. The expectant mother’s father or next of kin will say:

“Ladies and Gentlemen and family members. Praise to our Prophet PBUH, I wish to celebrate this event, and to begin the melenggang ceremony as well as appoint a midwife.” (Thomas Frazer, 1962, page 80)

Nota Translator:
Dicadangkan supaya semak terjemahan BM kerana perkataan yang ditandakan dengan dakwat merah agak janggal terjemahan Bahasa Malaysianya:

Tuan serta datuk-datuk dan sanak sekalian. Saya ini ada hajat sedikit hendak maulud bagi junjungan kita dengan salla alaihi wasalam akankerjaan mansi dan melenggang perut menantu soya mi menempah bidannya sekali. (Thomas Frazer, 1962, hal.80)

If the chosen midwife accepts the betel-leaves holder this means that she is willing to attend to the birth. In other words, the acceptance of the betel-leaves holder signifies the agreement to act as the midwife of the expectant mother.

Swinging of the Stomach Ceremony or “Melenggang Perut”

The traditional “swinging of the stomach” ceremony is divided into three parts, to “menjamah perut” (rub stomach), the “mandi melenggang perut” (a special bath) and “mengadap perut” (to face the stomach). These three ceremonies
use special tools and equipments which shall be prepared by the family of the expectant mother, under the supervision of the midwife. The three customs would be performed at the mother in law’s house.

The term “melenggang perut” or to “swing the stomach” is used by most Malays in Peninsular Malaysia such as Malacca and in Johor whereas the term “kirim perut” is understood by the northern Malays such as in Perak, Kedah and Perlis.

The “melenggang perut” ceremony is done for first time mothers when they are about seven months pregnant. At this time the foetus is believed to be completely formed. This tradition is carried out only on certain times, because in a traditional community, time and date are critical in deciding to do anything.

The purpose of “melenggang perut” is to adjust the stomach of the pregnant mother so that the foetus is placed correctly and the mother-to-be can give birth easily.

The midwife plays a very important part during the ceremony of “melenggang perut”. Among the items prepared for the ceremony are seven pieces of “batik” (printing textiles) cloth of various colours, one medium sized coconut, one “cupak” (Malay measuring instrument) of white rice, a plate of yellow saffron rice, a knife or spoon and a piece of  betel nut.

The midwife will massage the expectant mother’s stomach with oil while reciting prayers and adjusting the position of the foetus. The “salawat” or praises on the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) will then be recited three times and a coconut, completely dehusked, will be placed on the expectant mother’s stomach and rolled towards the direction of the feet. As soon as it reaches the feet, the expectant mother will kick the coconut as hard as she can. This is believed to lead to easier delivery. The coconut will then be split open and if the split leans to the top of the coconut then this is believed to mean that a son will be born.

An egg will then be rolled on the stomach to ward off evil spirits followed by turmeric to ward off demons. A spoon will then be taken and rubbed against the stomach to ensure that the baby will be beautiful and fair.

The “Melenggang Perut” Bath

There are certain items prepared for the ceremonial “Melenggang Perut” bath, such as three limes, an old coconut (opened), a branch of betel nut tree, a piece of unsewn cloth, two candles, a container of water sprinkled with seven types of flowers and water to ward off misfortune.

The bathing area is usually set facing the house. A stool is provided on which the expectant mother will sit and the ceremony begins with prayers and praises on the Prophet Muhammed PBUH for blessing. The expectant mother will then be groomed, to ensure that the baby will be born smooth and hairless.  The expectant mother will wear a “sarong” tied across her chest, and the midwife will pour water on her, assisted by several ladies who will fan her with penang frond. While the water is being poured, an egg will be inserted within the folds of the sarong and released. The mother-to-be will then be bathed with water from seven wells and sprinkled with seven types of flowers. Finally, special water which is believed to hinder misfortune will be poured on the mother-to-be, signifying the end of the bathing ceremony.

“Mengadap Perut” (Facing the Spirit or Stomach)

In the olden days, the ceremony of “mengadap semangat” (literally, to face the spirit) would be done on a small beautifully decorated dais. It is a place for the mother to be to sit and face the spirit. This ceremony is attended by women only and dishes such as “nasi semangat”, saffron rice, eggs and fruits. An egg will be cracked and a bouquet of flowers will be placed onto the saffron rice.

Roast chicken and a spicy meat dish called “kerutup daging” will be put in separate containers as offering to the spirits. The expectant mother will be asked to taste some salt as it is believed that the baby will be born complete.

Taboo and Restrictions (“Do’s and Don’ts”) of Pregnancy

The taboos of the pregnancy are conducts behaviour which have been agreed by the respective communities. The Malay community has adopted some practices which are to be followed by the pregnant mother, which are important for the mother’s and baby’s safety.

During pregnancy, the taboo in the Malay community is divided into two aspects covering food and conduct. In terms of conduct, there are several important don’ts and tips which must be followed by the expectant mother:

•    Mothers-to-be are forbidden to take a bath after Maghrib and Isyak prayers (sunset and night prayers) and also to soak laundry at night, as this is feared to lead to delay in labour.
•    Mothers-to-be are forbidden from listening and watching scary things as this is feared to affect the unborn baby’s form.
•    Mothers-to-be are forbidden to laugh, or ridicule other people to avoid having the ridiculed features bestowed on the unborn baby.
•    Mothers-to-be are forbidden from blowing on smouldering fire as this is feared to lead to a child being born with a dark future.

Cutting the Umbilical Cord

The midwife shall cut the baby’s umbilical cord. A prayer will be recited over the scissors used to cut to reduce its sting. The midwife will make three knots at the cord, which must be made before it is cut, to stop the blood from flowing out when both the cord and the placenta is cut. Massage oil or “inggu” will be placed on the spot of the cut to make sure the cord falls off quickly. The belly button will then be covered.

Burrying the Placenta

When a woman goes into labour, the placenta accompanying the baby will not be thrown away. The placenta will be burried after it is cleaned. The placenta cannot be burried at noon exactly as it is feared to cause stubbornness. It is normally burried at the doorway with some tamarind, salt, needles, a book and pencil so that the child will grow up to be diligent and intelligent. The placenta also cannot be burried too deeply as it is believed to cause delay in the child’s speech.

Massaging

Massaging is one of the best way of restoring the new mother’s veins, which is believed to be very stiff during pregnancy and only relaxing after delivery. Massaging therefore can gradually restore the veins to its normal state. It also helps to correct the womb’s position. The village midwife will come and massage for three days in a row and in some cases, for one week or more, according to the wishes of the new mother.

Serum Bath

The water used for the serum bath is water that has been boiled and mixed with various traditional herbs and plants. The mixture is believed to be able to rejuvenate the new mother and restore her energy. The serum water cannot be used to wash the new mother’s face as it can damage it.

Bertangas (Heating Treatment)
Nota Translator: Sila semak ejaan dalam Bahasa Malaysia; Bertangkas (sepatutnya Bertangas – bukan Bertangkas).

The main reason of woman after delivery to “Bertangas” is to shrink the womb faster and to cleanse the body. Among the equipment required is mengkudu and senduduk leaves, and coconut husk. These items will be burnt and the hear from these items will be moved over the mother’s whole body. This is done every day throughout the period of restriction to return energy to the mother. The skin of the mother who undergoes this treatment will be firm again and will be slightly yellow, after absorbing the heat of the items burnt.

Bertungku (Compressed Treatment)

This is a treatment performed after the heat treatment and after being cleaned. The equipment used is a solid medium sized stone which has been preheated. As soon as it is heated, the stone will be wrapped with a cloth and rolled over the body in particular the stomach. This practise is believed to help discourage wrinkles on the stomach and other parts of the body. It is also believed to help shrink the womb faster. (A.Aziz Deraman, 1995:20)

Wearing a Girdle

Wearing a girdle is still practiced by Malays after a delivery. This is usually done during the 44 day period of restriction. Wearing a girdle can support the muscles of the stomach and also relaxes the derriere’s muscles after pregnancy. This practice will also provide comfort to the women after delivery. Before the girdle is worn, massage oil or lime mixed with lime juice will be rubbed on the stomach. This is to tighten the stomach’s muscle as before, and prevent wind from being in the stomach.

The 44 Day Restriction Period
Women who have just delivered must go through a period of restriction of 44 days. Throughout this period the woman is not allowed to eat food considered unhealthy. What is considered unhealthy food will be determined by the person caring for the new mother - especially the midwife. Other than food, the new mother is not allowed to move freely. Medicine to be taken comprise of traditional herbs from roots and various spices. The village midwife will mix the ingredients especially the “jamu” (traditional herbs drink) and various type of perfumes such as “parem”, “pilis” and “tapil”. Most women feel cold after delivery and take “jamu” to heat their body up.

Death

Death is a reality everyone has to face and Islam wiil attend to the body with the greatest respect. It is a duty for Muslims to attend to and complete the burial quickly.

When a Muslim dies, his body will be quickly buried. It is preferred to bury the dead within six hours of death. The deceased is normally bathed before being buried by a person of the same sex as the deceased.

After bathing, the body will be wrapped in white cloth before prayers are offered for him. The body will be placed in a light wooden coffin, carried by pall bearers to the mosque nearest to the cemetery. Because Malays are also Muslims, the preparation of a burial follows the teaching of Islam.

In attending to the body, expenses is paid for from the deceased’s assets, after settling his obligations which are tied to the property such as the payment of zakat, pawning and to pay off his debts his beneficiaries can be attended to.

The body of a Muslim must be placed facing the qiblat (Mecca), with his feet facing the qiblat and his head to the east. The head should be raised slightly with a pillow and turned sideways on his ribs. It is encouraged to recite the Surah Yassin to the dead.

When preparing the body, it is encouraged to close the eyes and tie the chin with a cloth to the head, to prevent the mouth from opening. Veins must be made softer. It is encouraged to take off all his clothing, to be covered by a thin cloth. The stomach should be pressed with a heavy object to prevent it from getting bloated.

Bathing the body requires at least to get water over the entire body, and all waste in the body taken out. Waste must be taken out first before ablution is taken for the body. The body must be treated gently during the bath, and with respect, using cold water.

The bath water must be mixed with air bidara (“Siamese apple” water)  before pouring clean water, and lastly pouring water which has been mixed with lime - to be repeated 9 times, that is, 3 times with the air bidara, 3 times with the normal water, and 3 times with lime water mixture. Then, the body must be wiped with a towel so that the cloth covering it later will not get wet. If the body is burnt, or if there is no water and other obstacles, then the body can be dry cleaned by “tayammum” method.

For wrapping the body, in accordance with Al-Shafi’i teachings, the body must be at least covered by a piece of cloth. If the body is a male, the area between the belly button and his knees must be covered. For a woman, the cloth must cover the entire body save for her face and hands, up to the wrists only. This minimal cloth is called “kafan”.

To have his whole body covered by a kafan cloth is the right of the dead. The deceased’s family may cover the body up to his aurat or preferably the entire body, and having it wrapped in a third layer is the right of the beneficiaries.
Between the kafan layers, sandalwood and aloeswood will be placed. Each cavity such as eye, nostrils and others will be filled in with cotton wool. The palms, knees and toes, all used in prostration for prayers will also be filled with cotton before the body is wrapped fully in “kafan” cloth. Preferably the thighs are tied together so they would not spread apart. Both ends at the head and feet must also be tied.

After being wrapped, prayers must be performed for the body. The prayers are conducted as follows:

•    Reciting of the intention (“Niat”)
•    Standing up
•    Takbir
•    Reciting Al-Fatihah
•    Reciting salawat between the first and second Takbir
•    Reciting prayers for the deceased.

The prayer can be done alone or with others. It can also be done with the body absent or present.

Coffin

The coffin is made out of triangular or rectangular wood.  The body should be placed with his head laid down at the narrowest part and with his thighs at the widest part.  When carrying the body the head is facing front and the feet facing back. Carrying the body can be done by three, four, six or eight people and it is encouraged to walk to cemetery in silence.

The body of a Muslim must be buried in the grave and must never be just put on the ground and have soil cover the body. The grave is therefore very important.

The grave must be dug as deep as a man’s height and as wide as the body. The body must be lowered into the grave with his body turned to one side and resting on his right ribs, meaning his right ribs on the soil and the left ribs facing outwards. The head must be facing the same direction, and the face must be exposed, with the knots to the “kafan” cloth untied. The grave must then be covered with a wooden board.

To ensure that the body does not move in the grave, the body must be leaned against earth. The head must be laid on soil with the position of the body placed as mentioned above. After covering the body with earth, it is encouranged to put a gravestone as a marker at the head and foot of the body. It is encouraged to have the earth mound slightly higher than ground level so that it can be clearly seen as a mark of respect. It is also encouraged to pour water on the grave and to recite prayers for the dead. The prayers are to ask for Allah SWT’s forgiveness for the deceased’s conduct while alive.